Have You Ever Felt Sexually Cheap?

Have you ever felt sexually cheap? 

Definitions:

Definition of sex –  Root word of sexually is sex. (www.dictionary.com)

1. the character of being female or male
2. the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct

Definition of cheap –  www.dictionary.com

1. costing very little; relatively low in price; inexpensive
2. costing little labor or trouble
3. charging low prices
4. of little account; of small value

My definitions of “sexually cheap”- 

1. giving the essence of your gender without the recipient putting forth effort equal to god given, higher power given, or universe given value
   
2. giving the essence of your gender without the recipient showing their value of you
   

Now, I ask again … have you ever felt sexually cheap? Do you remember who made you feel this way? Do you remember the encounter? Did you talk to the person that did this to you? Did you face them? What was the resolution? Did you end up feeling this way again?

Now that you have answered all those questions, how do you feel??? What are you thinking now? Are you thinking “those damn men … those damn boys … those damn womanizers that want to f#&% every woman in the world!”…  “F” them right????? 

Wrong … “F” you! Yup I said it … damn you Ms. Lady! Yes, you the woman that feels sexually cheap. You can’t blame anyone for making you feel sexually cheap BUT … you! 

Many young girls don’t know this but adult women …. you know … you know it doesn’t feel right but you do it anyway. You know that the guy or guys you are dealing with do not want you. The guy typically only wants you for a lay … just want to be able to say he f’ed you. You think you can f#&% him into liking you … You think you can f#&%  him to convince him to spend more time with you. 

Let me ask you this though …. what effort is he showing you that he is worth being around?  How is he showing you that he is even worthy of your essence? Is he showing you that he even values you? Look beyond his material … educational … publicly meritable accomplishments. Of course they are important … very important actually … but there is something just as important: How does he SENSUALLY CONNECT to you? 

Again, how does he SENSUALLY CONNECT with you … versus sexually connect with you?

Definition of sensual – (www.dictionary.com)

1. to experience through the senses
2. of or pertaining to the senses or physical sensation

So many people want to misconstrue the meaning of the act of sexual intercourse as the most vital form of communication. While sexual intercourse is important to me in a harmonious committed relationship, I actually believe “SENSUAL INTERCOURSE” to be the most important. 

Definition of intercourse – (www.dictionary.com)

1. dealings or communication between individuals, groups, countries, etc.
2. interchange of thoughts, feelings, etc.

My definition of sensual intercourse – (www.dictionary.com)

1. the communication of thoughts, feelings, intentions, & desires between individuals through the use of a person’s senses
   

Sensual Intercourse is facilitated via the 6 senses … sight, smell, hearing, taste, feeling … and yes the 6th sense is the mind. Your mind facilitates mental formations through recording and registering the perceptions from your other 5 senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and feeling.

Lol … just about everyone is born with a mind … no hidden trickery. Below, I have given some examples on how to use your 6 senses to determine if a guy “sensually connects” with you.

• Sight: pay attention to what you “really see” instead of what you want to see

• Smell: is his natural body aroma pleasing to your nose … NO cologne … cologne camouflages your instinctive notions of a man to make him more appealing to you

• Hearing: listen to & for the words he says and doesn’t say

• Taste:  spend time with him to experience his personality, however limited or slight … experience the “real” him as much as you can … this is how you get a “taste” of his personality

• Feeling: be aware of your physical and emotional sensations and explore your relationship with the guy with nonvictim cautiousness 

• Mind:  YOU do nothing here; your mind processes all the information from your physical sensations … as well as all nonphysical sensations but it needs to be clear … no alcohol or drugs … mind altering substances prevent your mind from properly functioning; mind altering substances cause you to make excuses and accept/perform certain behaviors when you shouldn’t

All too often we as women are under the impression that we are suppose to jump high … go through loops and bounds to have a guy notice you. Remember the man is to court you. You are not to court the man. DO give him a glimpse of how life would be with you in a relationship but don’t give him too much of you without him doing the same.

Definition of courting - (www.dictionary.com) 

1. to try to win the favor, preference, or goodwill of
2. to seek the affections of 

Typically, the man comes after what is most important to him. If a man comes after you solely for sex especially in the beginning of your encounter … then he is not courting you. Believe it or not … a man can wait.  If he is really courting you, he would show interest in some of your nonsexual best qualities. While physical attraction is important … it shouldn’t be the sole driving force for a man wanting to be with you.

Ladies, think about it; I am sure you have other good qualities to offer a man than sex. 

So in closing ladies, if you feel sexually cheap … you know it feels wrong … you know that it hurts … you notice that you are repeating your self-destructive behavior …  and NOW folks see you as sexually cheap. Why don’t you want to comprehend what ALL of your 6 senses are telling you? Do something about it. 

You learned all these behaviors that ALLOW YOU to market yourself as sexually cheap … so why not unlearn them and become SENSUALLY EXPENSIVE… not monetarily …. but strengthen your womanly essence … STOP being that woman that lies there after sex still feeling bad. Stop being that woman asking why did I do that … why do I keep being the thrill ride … why do I often end up as that chick on the side.

What is more important to you: your SENSUAL intimacy or SEXUAL intimacy? Learn your womanhood.

Peace, 

M&M